It's Not You, It's MEn

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and Everything In Between:

I am currently watching #ItsNotYouItsMen, the newest talk show featuring great recording artist and actor Tyrese and legendary hip hop star Rev. Run talking openly and honestly about sex, love and relationships. They are giving you the perspective from a single and very married man. I love the concept of the show because it addresses topics that women may discuss with few friends but is never addressed with your spouse or partner that you are in a relationship with. Also, the show shows the biblical/spiritual perspective from Rev. Run and the more free spirited thoughts from Tyrese. 

As a young woman, I love hearing the two sides of the many topics discussed such as born again virgins, marriage longevity, purity, and relationship decisions. You get to hear their honest thoughts on what is right and what they do. 

Tyrese is correct when he says "How can you naturally be a wife/husband when you don't have a representation of it in your life?" It is hard for many of us to know what the roles, position, place and value of a husband/wife really is because we were not raised by people in healthy, successful marriages. This show is opening up to that misperceptions of "I want to be a wife" without knowing what that actually means.

I love when Rev. Run says he didn't touch his wife before marrying her because he knew the fruits of his labour would be rewarded for his obedience. His lifestyle is a representation of the perspective he's shares on the show.

You have tune in to this show on OWN at 10/9c. 

Let this show spark conversations in your household. 

#ItsNotYouItsMen

Adios Amigos, Until Next Time

Marshay H. 

Poem "Apologize for Black" by M.H.

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and Everything In Between:

Hey Everyone, I know if you are in the #DMV area, you are probably netflixing and chilling right now as it is a blizzard outside so I wanted to share a poem with you that I wrote in about twenty minutes at noon. Comment with your thoughts!!

Apologize for Black

 In 2016, it's okay for us to feel

Like our black skin isn't real
Real-ly the reason you view me differently than before
Heard me on the phone
Was willing to open a door
And let me walk in with no apologies
For my skin
Being black, we are so used to apologizing for who we are
I'm sorry that my skin caused you to think I steal
I'm sorry that my skin caused you to feel
Like you had to run or hide, or even stay inside 
My, my, you had to swallow your pride and say
You're not what I expected, so different
Your decision you regret it 
Crazy how I walked away thinking I didn't do everything I could
Had the answers down to a tee, a resume that surely impressed me
But he said "No" and now I'm thinking I could've done more
Then Mama says there's no more u can do
In this world, baby
I have to tell you the truth
They don't see your intelligence, dedication or motivation
They see a thug, a thief, a drug dealer, an absent father and most of all, A Black Man
A Black Man
A Black Man that to them is great for being the help
Is good enough to lift, push and pull 
Is good enough to move, work, and play
But to offer a position
Permanent at that, is the biggest regret
Because deep down they know
That if ever offered an opportunity to be on the same level
That your position will be threatened
Career will be reckoned
And not that his intentions made it so
But honestly, your perfect grammar and your   White collar suit
Suits you for the position much better than I 
Oh, Why?
My black is only good enough for basketball and rapping
I could never be the CEO
I could never be the owner
Because then, I am owning a part of me that isn't true
Black Brothers, it's not in u
Ever to be greater than your skin has allowed you to be
And they want you down on your knees
Begging and pleading, please
Master, don't kill me
With your hands up in surrenderance
Your future to him lies dependence
Then I say to Mama
You've always said I was a King
Well, that's because to me my son, you are
And I don't ever want you to apologize for being black
You are smart, handsome, strong, hardworking, kind, caring, one of a kind
And Baby, you're mine
So don't ever for one second think
You have to.... Apologize for Black

-Marshay Herder

Adios Amigis, Until Next Time

Marshay H.

How Ordinary Are You??

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen:

How Ordinary Are You? 

Many of you may say "very" and there are few who may say "not at all." The few who would say "not at all" is the group I most relate to but I would like to speak to the "very" group tonight. Very ordinary may seem like an extreme compliment because it doesn't seperate you, outcasts you, point you out or condemns you in any manner but the not at all classifies you as weird, crazy, different, and something wrong. When in all actuality, there is something wrong with desiring to be just like everyone else, wishing, hoping to be like everyone else. I've come across a thousand teenagers in high school and they all sound the same, dress the same, look the same and began to act the same in school causing me not to be able to differentiate one from another. Why is that? I believe in our childhood we are often taught that being different is a problem, if you sit and everyone else is standing, you are pointed out and ridiculed; if you cry while everyone else is laughing, you are ridiculed without question or concern as to why and that is what causes kids to form a misperceptions that being different, standing out is a problem and it is better to fit in with society, agree with society's standards then form your own mindset and way of thinking. By the time most kids are in middle school, they are trying to discover who they feel they are at a young age and are curious as to so many things that their natural childlike mind would not dare to think. By high school, a huge misconception is formed that right is where the majority is, not what God says, not what God has spoken but what the majority feels is okay and acceptable. Is there anybody willing to be bold and honest about who they are and not give two cents of thought to what someone else feels about who they are? Stop living to be cool, everyone you're trying to impress could careless about you so start living to please God. At the end of the day, he is the one person that never leaves you nor forsake you. God could never see you fall and not pick you up. Trust him in all that you do and know that who he created to be is perfect for you and is not up to anyone else to like, love or appreciate. 

Adios Amigos, Until Next Time

Marshay H. 

How to Turn A Mess into A Message: You're Always Going to Be Scared, Do it Anyways

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen:

So, I was watching 'The Real' as they were discussing a "Dear 15 Me" segment    and boom, a message that a celebrity posted clicked "You're going to be scared, do it anyway," A message that she would tell her fifteen year old self was  to do it anyway even though she would be scared. This is a message that I wanted to send to you, whatever it is that you want to do that is positive and good for you, DO IT!! Do it inspite of the fear, shame, guilt, concern for others thoughts or feelings. You are the one who has to live in your shoes and you do not want to be hindered because of all of the what ifs, how and it might not. Go for it and if doesn't work, try again. If you never give up, you can never lose. You may wonder how it's going to get done, how much time it would take but if you begin putting in the work, you will see results. Fear will forever hold you back. Let Go of everything that is telling you not to and do it anyway. Fear is there, push pass it!!

Adios Amigos, Until Amigos

Until Nect Time

Marshay H.

Mess into A Message

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen: 

I would like to cordially introduce you to my new blog "How to Turn A Mess into A Message." Technically, this blog is not new but the information will be. It will still encompass celebrity news and entertainment but I've noticed my platform even with celebrity news has always been to change lives positively. Therefore, I am reforming my blog a bit to focus on turning "A Mess into A Message." 

Join Me on this journey and follow me at marshayh.com. 

My book is now available to purchase on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/The-Meaning-Story-Marshay-Herder/dp/0692557032/ref=cm_sw_em_r_awdod_JeiIwbKPSQ15R_lm

Happy New Year!! Get ready for weekly, maybe even daily posts "How to Turn A Mess into A Message."

Adios Amigos, Until Next Time 

Marshay H.