Only victims of abuse would understand the feeling you feel when a man looks at you in a lustful way. The older I get, the more I realize that maybe some ppl. can't identify the signs and/or behavior that comes with being abused in any form. I am able to identify with ppl. and the feelings of being forced to do something reminds me of what has happened & my story. It's hard to swallow the pill that your own parents or close family and friends think that it's just something wrong with you but they don't know that beneath lies a deeper issue that has never been addressed. One thing I do not like is when issues get swept over, and never worked through then it becomes something that lingers for years with no foreground to stand on. People expect you to keep going and get over things but it's not that simple. If it was, the issue would have left a long time ago. Loved ones should look deeper to find out what it is and encourage a person instead of insult a person to just make it pass over. Its so hard to release built up pain and anger without hurting others in the process. It is a journey of identifying what has happened because often abuse victims forget or bury it so deep that they ignore it. Secondly, make it a priority to "change," change the way you feel and change the way you identify with your abuse. Don't look at it as your fault or something you could've done differently, realize the person who committed this crime against you as sick. What would you do with a sick person? Care, love and cherish them but discern whether and how your relationship with that person will be. Desires that are completely unacceptable such as physical abuse, emotional and sexual abuse!! Often family and friends don't understand your actions after the act, which could be 30 yrs. later, because it did not occur to them. When you are violated, you lose your self worth, self value and self confidence. This is something that is disheartening and hard to get pass because as victims we often choose to value our strength in silence, the older I get I am recognizing that I can be silent but openly honest with my truths. I've always been honest but never with the person who may have hurt me. The person whom is often claiming others as crazy or as something is wrong with, is usually the person who is the craziest. They have issues, you have issues, we all have issues and some people are able to show their true colors in different lights. You never know what a person is going through so try your best to be mindful of how you respond to others. Don't let what you've gone through, overtake you!! I promise you will make it through and be so much stronger and better than you have ever been before. I love writing and now that I have this blogger app, I will be showing you all more of what is in me that needs to be released out. Please know that your destination is beyond limitations and releasing your hurt will be a stepping stone to Wearing your Best You.
Adios Amigos, Until Next Time
Marshay H.
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